I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
