I've blown a few things in my day
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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