if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
