She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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