Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

(1-620): View more from Kansas

No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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(805): View more from California

He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets

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(561): View more from Florida

I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

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(925): View more from California

Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

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(910): View more from North Carolina

It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!

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(248): View more from Michigan

I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger

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(216): View more from Ohio

Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick

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(613): View more from Ontario

he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it

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