Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
