I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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