Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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