his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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