But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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