You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
