Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
