Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
