Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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