also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
