Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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