imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
