ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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