Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish i was in the wii world.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
