we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
