Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
