so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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