They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she told me i tasted like america
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
