Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
