O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
