apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
