Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
