Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
