Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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