just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
