Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
