They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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