Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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