I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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