Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
