you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
