I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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