I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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