Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
