sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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