Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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