ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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