addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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