I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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