Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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