I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
