Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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