okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
