i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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