hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
