It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Mom said you looked used
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
