she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
