I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
