She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
