Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
